< BACK  | AT HOME • May 5, 2015
How ‘People Pleasing’ destroys relationships
So it all starts off great – the relationship courtship . A glimpse into someone’s life from the outside at the secret hope of one day being on the other side. It all glimmers like gold.
Then you make it to the other side- you become an ‘insider’. You are no longer the ‘outsider’ that needs to be ‘pleased’.
The ‘inside’ is a completely different place to be. In fact, you get a greater perspective on how the ‘people pleaser’ mechanism works. Your needs become entirely secondary while the ‘people pleaser’ is on an endless rampage to impress the next person by doing something for them, going over the top to satisfy their needs and spending resources that are otherwise precious to the family (time, money, space, comfort etc) for that cocaine hit – the other person is ‘impressed’ and ‘approves’.
Lack of self-acceptance lies at the core of people pleasing. To live a life defined by impressing those who do not matter comes at a great cost at the end of the day – those who do matter.
Something to think about.